Barack Obama, George W. Bush and Dick Cheney are in a room, what are they doing? A: Breathing

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Why did the cat explode on the street? Cause i put a grenade in a fridge and then threw it at it.

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What is worse then North Korea trying to blow up everybody? Peter Griffin twerking.

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Why is Roenz Gay? He isnt.

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A dog with toothpaste in it's mouth wanders into a bar. The bartender beats it to death, because he thought it had rabies.

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The cookie monster walks into a bar. The bartender says "Why do you seem so blue?" Everyone laughed. Then the cookie monster replied "my wife died."

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I used to make jokes about taking arrows to the knee then i beat the game

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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What do you call a black guy with a peg leg? An amputee.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard -you throw them.

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How do you starve a blonde? You tie them up and deprive them of any food.

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How do you fall off a building... JUMP.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink fluff

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Why did the jew go into the gas chamber? Because he thought he was going to get a shower.

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Your mother is so black...because she recently suffered a horrible accident with fire and has irreparable skin damage.

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What did the little boy order at Burger King? He ordered a burger and wiped his booger on the counter.

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Why did Timmy fall off the swing? Because he was dead

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how do you make a plumber cry kill his family

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What word is ten letters long and starts with gas? Gastronomy.

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Johnny woke up christmas morning, went downstairs and opened his presents to find he had an iPhone, iPad,Ps3 Laptop, the full lot. Then his mate came around and Johnny bragged about all the stuff he had got. Then his mate replied," I wish i had cancer".

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A woman who owns a parrot leaves her home, forgetting that a plumber is scheduled to come fix her sink. A few minutes after she leaves, the plumber arrives and knocks on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waits for a minute and, seeing that nobody has come to the door, knocks again. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replies, a little more loudly, "It's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink!" The plumber waits for a minute and bangs hard on the door. The parrot calls out "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screams, "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIINK!!!" Just then, the plumber clutches his chest and falls dead to the ground. When the woman returns home, she sees the dead man in front of her door. She opens her door to go to her phone and asks the parrot, "who is it?" The parrot replies, "WHO IS IT?"

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, Obama is a good president, I beg to differ.

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what do you call a fish with no eyes? fsh

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You know what makes me sick? Bacteria

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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