wheres binladin? at the bottom of the sea wanking over amy winehouse

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What does a black man do when he breaks into a car? He steals the radio

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Why is the little boy so smart? He tries in school and hes asian

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Do you really want to know what i shit? Poo

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what do you call a gay guy Ej

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Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

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A chicken walks into a McDonald's and the cashier asked the chicken what he would like to order. A man waiting for his meal walked out realizing that the employees of this restaurant were not who he wanted making his food.

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one.

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Why didn't the blind girl say hi to anyone? Because she was blind.

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What's red and hurts your teeth? A brick.

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Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? Intercourse

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What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

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What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

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I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. The police who? The POLICE, now open the god damn door!

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

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knock knock!! kanye west

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Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

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In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops