What's green and red and goes a hundred miles an hour? A frog in a blender.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

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Customer: Can I have a tin of red paint, please? Shop owner: I'm sorry sir, we only have yellow paint left. Customer: That's ok, I have my bike with me.

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() () () () () () () ------ *__________* yo can go %$*# yourself =~~ 0

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What did the blind lady say to her cat? Nothing she doesn't have a cat.

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A paraplegic walks into a bar.

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Hi

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2 guys are in a bar joking and having a good time. One guy looks to the other and says, "So...HOWS your wife?" The man replies "...She died in a horrible car accident." The man's friend then says "...I am sorry to hear that.." "Yeah I know I wish that God damn rat wasn't in the road goddamn fucker"

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Knock Knock Who's There?? Its the police your family have died in a tragic road accident

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What do Gay horses eat? Cheese.

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Why are there so many little girls falling off swing jokes? Because you tuch youself at night.

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Knock knock Whoes there? ...

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uhyuyuyhyuuuhuyuhh rice crispies

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Why was the little boy late to school Cause he walked on a landmine

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What do you call a Mexican that swam across the border? An illegal immigrant.

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What did the unicorn say when he was kicked out of the grocery store? Nothing, dodo birds dont exist

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Want to hear a dirty joke? Mud.

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What's blue and has two windows ? The sky, i lied about the windows.

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An asian, black man and a white guy are stranded in a desert with no food and no water, so what do they do Die

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what is worse then going to school farlingaye

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I like my coffee like my women. Without a penis.

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What do you get when you cross a jack-o-lantern and an antelope? Nothing. You wouldn't see an antelope by a pumpkin.

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Roses are yellow Violets are yellow bark bark

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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