Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Knock-knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

What did the little orphan boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he had died six months prior to Christmas due to the horrible living conditions of the orphanage.

What did 6 say to 7? Nothing, numbers are abstract concepts thought up by humans and therefore, they cannot speak or converse in any sort of language.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics? Not being disabled.

Q: Why did the little girl upset? A: Because she was part of the human centipede

Q: What's Lindsay Lohan getting for Christmas? A: AIDS

Yo momma's so ugly, she decided to get plastic surgery and now has much higher self-esteem.

What do you call a chicken with it's head chopped off. A decapitated chicken.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your mum. Oh hi mum, the doors unlocked

Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

What does a turtle do on its back? NOTHING!

Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

your mammas so fat she has to buy pants in the xxlarge section of the store

Miss Polly had a Dolly who was sick sick sick So she called for the Doctor to come quick quick quick The doctor came with his bag and his hat And he knocked on the door with a rat-tat-tat. He looked at Polly's Dolly and he shook his head. He said she had leprosy and must have all her limbs amputated.

Why did the Koala Fall out of the tree, It was Dead

BALL SO HARD... That I got kicked off the team for intentionally fouling other players whenever I got on the court, I'm sorry

There was a goat and it was eating McDonalds, I just farted and my nuts are itchy.

why did the black guy win a gold medal in the olympics? hard work, dedication and determanation! what no one else can be bothered to do anymore because of all this new technology and stuff!! get of your arse and do something active. NOW!

Why did nick and tyler visit anti-joke.com? Because they have nothing better to do.

why didn't the drug addict take steroids? he was going to but died due to years of substance abuse

How do you make a plumber stop sagging? Tickle his crack

How do you know that god was a male? You don't, that's why it's called faith.

what do you call a man in a hole Fill

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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