Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue Bitches Like U Belong In The Zoo

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Q. What language cant you speak A.Sign language

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What's white and hides behind a tree? Shy milk.

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Q:What's red and fluffy? A: A blue rock, if blue were red and rocks were fluffy

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What did the old lady say when she went to a restaurant? OH look at the price of this salad.

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? The hooker is a human being whereas the onion is a vegetable.

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What would be the consequence of a terrorist detonating a 500 kT nuclear bomb in Manhattan? A ridiculous question. All enriched uranium in Pakistan is safe and out of reach of terrorists, their govt. has assured. Please ask about realistic scenarios next time.

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Were can you find a bag of meth? A drug dealer

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do all of these jokes have in common? They're not funny. You see, the definition of an anti-joke is a "type of indirect humor that involves the joke-teller delivering something which is deliberately not funny, or lacking in intrinsic meaning. The audience is expecting something humorous, and when this does not happen, the irony itself is of comedic value." As this is a page full of anti-jokes, we know to expect the unfunny - thus robbing us of the experience of an anti-joke.

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Adam said to God, "God, I need a companion." God replied, "OK Adam, but you need to give up a rib." Adam agreed and thus humanity was born.

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What's the worst part about seeing a dead baby on the beach? The crushing sadness.

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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- I shot the sheriff! - You murderer

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What's green and invisible? This cabbage

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Why does a squid have 8 legs? It doesn't, it has 8 tentacles!

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Tell somebody that someone told you they look like an owl. When they say "Who?" laugh in their face

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Why did the road cross the chicken? Because Einstein said so. According to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

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A young girl falls off a swing, she is paralysed from the neck down and unable to walk every agian.

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Why did the man pick the flower? Because he didn't like flowers.

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What did the black man say to the man from Kyrgyzstan? I've never heard of your country before.

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a weird guy tickled a watermelon.

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What do you call a man with a bad haircut? A man with a bad haircut

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national song of the mute person? 5 minutes of silence please

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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