Once upon the time.... It was 12 o´clock

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall Humpty Dumbty took a great fall Because he was terribly intoxicated And failed to properly balance himself.

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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What has wings and can't fly? What has legs and can't move? What has mouth and can't eat? A dead bird on the road

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"Who stole the cookies from the cookie jar?" said the little girl. "I don't know", said the mother," we were robbed of all our money and posessions. And your father was killed while we were gone.

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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What's worst than the Holocaust? No Wi-Fi

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How many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? One.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven killed all of six's family

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- Hey, guess how many people are dead in that cemetery? - I don't know. How many? - All of them.

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A man walks into a bar. Now he needs stitches on his forehead because he was walking pretty fast

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Knock knock Who's there Santa who santa hates you and that is why you got nothing for Christmastime

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Why do people eat babies? Because they're delicious.

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Why did the girl fall down the stairs? She has no legs, that's why.

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what does it mean when Justin Bieber sounds like a boy someones hit puberty

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why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

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Q. Why did the 8 year old girl scream and cry when she was raped? A. I no idea either. I drugged her and taped her mouth closed.

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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Why didn't the cheese buy a house plant? Cheese is nonliving and therefore cannot earn money, thus preventing cheese from buying houseplants.

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Why did the man name his boy "Sue?" He had bad eyesight and thought it was a girl.

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what do you call a black man flying a plane?? a pilot ,you racist!

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A lady forgot to feed her goat. When she went to feed it, It wasn't there. Why? She didn't have a goat. Another lady forgot to feed her cat. When she went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? It died 2 days earlier. A man forgot to feed his cow. When he went to go feed it, it wasn't there. Why? They had ate it for dinner last night. A teenage boy forgot to feed his hamster. When he went to feed it, it wasn't there. Why? He spent so much time playing video games that it ate itself. So the boy had his mom make him a sandwich.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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