Justin Bieber is so gay he dates girls

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A little girl had a sleepover with her friends. They watched a movie, then went to bed at a reasonable time. /

thumb_up thumb_down -2

salad days!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Whats better than winning gold in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What does a pelican and a taxman have in common? Both are bipedal, both are carbon-based lifeforms that procreate by DNA replication, both in all probablility eat fish, both have survival instinct, both require fresh water for hydration, both have five senses; vision, hearing, touch, taste and smell, both are capable of at least limited cognition, and both can turn aggressive when provoked.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a black man in prison? justice.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

How do you silence a barking dog? You rip out its vocal cords.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the boy sitting alone? Because all his friends died.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was black

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I think I lost my number so can I... No you can't because phone numbers can't be lost

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the mute girl say to the other mute girl?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get someone to come out of the closet? Unlock it

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the old lady take her Afghan Hound to the vet after the dog had been brutally harassed? She was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red violets are blue your dads got hair what happened to you

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the fat man removed from the restaurant? When his date didn't show up he started and crying and proceeded to stab himself with a fork

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is black at the bottom, and white at the top? Society.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? People cross roads all the time, each for their own personal reasons. Questioning their motives is generally accepted as being unnecessary, as it is a relatively safe action as log as one is careful and heeds the laws of traffic.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

knock knock!! kanye west

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Suzie.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops