Jim just got laid off at the office. He believes his life is going to hell, so he commits suicide. His wife then later was blamed for his death because they were having many arguments. She was sentenced to life and slowly rotted in prison for the rest of her life. Their children then are moved around from foster home to foster home and they grow up to be drug dealers.

Q: What do you do when your friend tells you he murdered someone? A: Call the police.

A white police officer pulled over a black guy on the highway. The cop asked him for license and registration. The black guy had a tail light out, and was very polite and cooperative. The two became close friends, but then one night, the black guy went to the house of the white cop. The black guy brought his wife and daughter over for a dinner party, eating grilled turkey sandwiches with mayonnaise. When the cop's attractive wife asked the black guy if he would like some fresh watermelon from the patch in their back yard, he respectfully declined, for he needed to return to his own home to patiently wait for a business call from one of his employees, who was also a very intelligent and hard working African male. Once home, the black guy turned on his stereo, to listen to some calming country music at an appropriately low level of volume, as his daughter and wife had gone to sleep, for the wife also had work in the morning, at her law firm, and her daughter had a job interview after her day of classes at Dartmouth were out for the day... then Martin Luther King Jr. woke up from his dream, and was soon thereafter assassinated.

why do black people hate school? because they have to sit and learn like the rest of us for hours on end

Man: I'm just popping out to get cigarettes (He never returns.)

Why did 0 dislike 1? Because 1 made 0 feel like he was nothing

Farlingaye high school :L what a crap place!

Yo mama is so skinny, when she sits around the house, she sits comfortably in every chair. - Stephen Colbert

An Irishman, a homosexual and a Jew walk into a bar. Paddy's really exploring his options lately.

Chuck Norris is an average human being!

Why did George ride his bike to the park? Due to the down economy his parents were forced to sell his bike in order to pay their bills.

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Why wasn't the old woman sitting on the porch? Because she got raped by a big scorpian.

What does a black person use to chop a tree down? An Ask.

knock, knock come in

Why did the chicken cross the road? The Holocaust.

What eats McDonalds for breakfast, lunch and dinner, annoys everyone around them, and could care less about anyone but themselves? The population of the United States.

What is more funny than an anti joke? A real joke.

Why did Lil wayne decide to be a rapper? Because he would earn a very large amount of money and fame.

What does it mean when the drummer drools out of both sides of their mouth? That they've may have had a stroke and you should immediately call 911.

what do you call a man with three eyes and eleven fingers? his name

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn’t get to cross the road. Halfway through the crossing, it was hit by a car and turned into roadkill. Then a family of black people picked it up and turned it into fried chicken.

What do a woman and a female dog have in common? They were both annoying so I put them down.

Why did the pedophil go to church? To rape small children.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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