What did the milk say to the oatmeal? I came from a cow nipple.

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Whats worse than purple nurples? Having the period

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BenWuzHear

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Why couldn't Sally ride a bicycle? She doesn't have a bicycle. She also doesn't have legs.

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Why are elephants gray? So you don't get them confused with blueberries.

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Why did the clown want a new bike? Don't ask me, clowns are allowed to want things too

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Botanically speaking, cheese can't fry bagels.

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Who livs in a pineaple under the sea? Lots of mold and bacteria

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A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

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Hitler.. Hitlar... Hillar... Hillary Clinton

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Two tubes of ice cream are sitting in a freezer, one turns to the other and says "its bloody freezing in here" God then corrects this apparent mistake in the combined laws of physics and biology

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Knock, Knock. Come In.

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why did the boy drown? because water entered his lungs and suffocated him.

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Why did the Skyrim guard stop adventuring? He got cancer.

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A guy orders soup at the resturant and says to the waiter, "will you try this soup?" The waiter says "what is it too hot?" the guy says "just try the soup." the waiter asks "Is it too cold?" the guy sais just try the soup." the waiter says "fine, where's the spoon?" AHAHHH!!!

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Sex is not the answer. Sex is a question. Yes is the answer.

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How do you kill a blond? Well there are many ways the most effiont way is to shoot them

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Whats green and looks like eggs? Green eggs.

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what is long and bare? polonaise to the pediatric ward what is short and bald? same polonaise, 3 weeks later

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Tifa, seriously... You cannot look like the game character and have the same name! HEY I am craving for a bit of infamy, how about we claim that we is I! Which will make me seem completely pathetic for spending the whole night chatting with myself... Which is not bad at all actually...

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? He didn't say anything. He died a terrible and painful death on impact.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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