What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews are people, and are a nation and ethnoreligious group originating in the Israelites or Hebrews of the Ancient Near East. A pizza on the other hand is an Italian dish made up of cheese, bread sauces and multiple toppings.

What do you do when you have those days where you feel that you go back three damn steps for every step you take towards your goal? DUUUUUH! You turn your back, see? Now you are getting three steps at the right direction for every right one! LOGIC!

Whats yellow pink and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? Oh were you expecting an answer here, if i knew the answer i wouldn't have asked a question.

I went to the game and saw a Mexican wave. So I waved back at him.

stuarts mum

Why was Osama Bin Laden killed? Because he couldn't dodge all the bullets in time

Why'd the man go to jail? Because he had a piece of cheese.

Why did little Lucy climb up a tree? Cos her dad beats her.

ahhh finally removed the splinter I've had for quite some time now. Hopefully that was the last one I'll get for a while...touch wood

Why did the man go bald? He had cancer

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms. Why didnt she get back up? She had no friends.

What's are the screams and terror when midnight hits? Vannlia Ice's face.

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey Nick!" Because he knows him and is not racist.

Your mama is so fat she suffered from diabetes and died of heart failure .

this girl died

Why did I get raped

Why did the squirrel cross the... *Squash*

What happened when a Blonde girl and a Ginger man have sex without a condom? The woman gets pregnant and then after about nine months the woman gives birth and the child grows up, when the child is adolescent it is able to reproduce and the process continues again.

A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

I milked the cow, but no gas came out.

Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

you know whats worse then losing your banjo? finding a spleen in it's place

Why did Jesus and his friends get crucified? So they could sing: "Always look at the bright side of life" Moral: Monty Python?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...