knock knock who's there? a murderer. a murderer who? a murderer who kills you and your family.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q. What do you call a small hen that can't lay eggs properly? A. A small hen that can't lay eggs properly.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the blonde kill herself? She was diagnosed with major depression and was dealing with a lot of traumatic events in her life.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

vaginas

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What swims in the ocean? Fish

thumb_up thumb_down +37

I like my women the way I like my coffee: Without a penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a black guy who kills people? A murderer.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

(insert command here) Oh yeah, well I want world peace.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

roses are red i have a phone nobody texts me forever alonee lol

thumb_up thumb_down +35

I spilled Spot Remover on my dog. Now he is blind and has chemical burns all over his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call a pig with one eye? A pig.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A Muslim terrorist walks onto a bus, with the mindset to blow him and the other 27 people. Before he steps onto the bus, he realizes the error in his ways and decides to not follow through. He goes to the airport instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What is brown and sticky? A stick

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Yo mama's so fat, she weighs over 400 pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Roses? are red Violets are blue, Kangaroos like Oranges, Poems suck, Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A Jew walks into a bar The bar owner looks at a gang of punks in the back and shouts "YOU! GET OUT!" The Jew leaves the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you call a cow with no legs? ground beef

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Your mom is so fat, that it causes great concern for her family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

A women president

thumb_up thumb_down +33

So I was eating pancakes in my driveway...or were they waffles?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops