- Anti Joke

Yeah sure, you have "absolutely... ...No... ...Reason..." to... Fucking... use... This... place... at... all... But you seem to be here all the fucking time, what fucking sense does that make? That is not the matter at all fagface! Your fucking goons assaulting me because "I stole one of your aliases?" I was born Nero and will die fucking Nero, not Nerometal, not Nero of Neronism, just Nero your friendly rapist! Yeah Ill give you my fucking social info, so you... and... your... excessive... use... of... this shit... can... send... your ...fucking assholes to finish the job! Listen bitch! I am a writer! And your faggots stabbed off like half of my eyeball! I don't give a damn about this site, I want your fucking assholes to stop seeking me out in person! Hell, give me your social info, so we can "make a fucking settlement" Where I break off your head and shit down your neck!

I'm gay. No homo.

A legless and armless woman is laying on the beach. A man walks by and hears her crying. "What's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been kissed before" says the woman. So the man leans down and kisses her. The next day the man sees the woman crying at the beach again. "What's wrong this time?" asks the man. "I've never been hugged before" So the man picks up the legless and armless woman and gives her a big hug. The next day the man sees the woman still on the beach crying. "Okay now what's wrong?" asks the man. "I've never been f---ked before" says the woman. So the man picks up the woman, and has sex with her. They end up going on several dates later on and getting married at sunset on the very beach where they met.

Why did the chicken cross the road? because he was hungry and mcdonalds was across the street

Q. You know what sucks A. Being an orphan

how do you make a plumber cry? you hit him in the face

So a horse walks into a bar, animal service is called and after being unable to locate the owner he is put down.

What should you do if you come across a slut with a fork up her @ss and a gun in her hand? Do not look at her and walk away.

What do Bear Grylls drink under breakfast? Tea.

Roses are red Violets are blue your mum is fat and so are you

What's the opposite of stupid? diputs

Why didn't the poor man buy a candy bar? He wasn't hungry.

What do you do when life gives you lemons? Make some fucking lemonade.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, you should be a con artist.

Why do Christians believe in God? Because he is real.

Scott Gomez

How did jimmy get hurt?? someone throw a fridge at him..

what did the dog say? dogs can't talk therefore he said nothing

KKK

What did the crippled Nazi say to the Jew? Get in the train.

What did Delaware? A coat.

There's a plane with 5000 bricks in it, one falls out. How many bricks are on the plane now? 4999 How do you get an elephant in the fridge? U open the fridge,put the elephant in and close the fridge. How do you get a deer in the fridge? Open the fridge, take the elephant out and close the fridge. A lion is trowing a party and the whole animal kingdom shows up, what animal isn't there? The deer cause he's still in the fridge. A little old lady is walking threw an alligator and snake invested swamp. *The snakes and alligators eat her (wrong answer) The brick falls on her head

Like this joke, bitch.

Aladdin found a rusty old lamp at the foot of a mountain. He rubbed it and the Ginnie had died after the long drop from the cliff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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