Last night I had a Chinese By that I mean I abducted some Chinese people and ate them

Why did the kid punch the other kid. Because he was black.

I think everybody ought to have a penis.

What did the downsyndrome get for christmas? Aborted

How are contortionists so flexible? They stretch.

Your Mama is so fat, when she jumped on the couch, she broke the couch.

What did the Vampire say to the pastor? Nothing. You have to be real to talk

Why do women wear make-up and perfume? Because they're ugly and stink.

What did the cast of sex and the city get for Christmas Nothing Sarah Jessica Parker is Jewish

Its a bird...its a plane....it IS a plane

How do you save a black guy from drowning? You don't.

What's worse than discovering that you have contracted HIV? Stumbling upon a mass genocide. HIV's pretty bad though.

Q: What did zero say to the eight? A: Nice belt

Why did the girl jump of the control tower??? She didnt I lied.

What do you call two dead blondes? A terrible day for their families and for many more to come

why is santa so jolly? hes not hes a fictional character made up by our parents imagination

A man walked into a metal bar, they were playing Metallica.

SCP-009-J is missing. Where has it gone? Is it under the table? Was it sat upon? Is it there on the ceiling? Is it under the rug? Was it gobbled right up by a quantum pillbug? Did it run through the tunnel? Did it fall down the stair? Was it sent back in time to a carnival fair? Did it get on a train to a far-away place? Is it locked in a falsified beacon from space? Did it fall in the oobleck and [DATA EXPUNGED]? If it clogged up the sink, will it have to be plunged? Just where has SCP-009-J gotten to? Oh wait, that's right! SCP-009-J is you!

What did the President give his wife for her birthday? Women's Rights.

Question: How did the chicken get to the other side of the road? Answer: Too find his joint.

Why did the boy throw the clock out the window? In a desperate, but unsuccessful attempt to save his mothers life, as a serial killer pulled her into his van

Why did Dolley Madison take the painting of George Washington out of the White House in 1814. It was on fire. By, Luke Atkins

A Mexican, a Caucasian, and an African-American jump out of an airplane. They all die.

a kangaroo walks in to a bar and sits down. Kangaroo's live in Auustralia

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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