A girl dropped her pencil while sitting next to her bf... She glanced at his phone while he was texting a message that said "I love you"... The girl jumped up and called him every name she could think of and left the room... The message was to his mother! She didn't listen and left him... He killed himself because she left him... She killed herself because he killed himself... Moral of the story: Don't drop you pencil!

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what do you call a blonde that spends fifteen thousand dollars at a bar? an alchoholic.

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They say those with anti-humour are the wisest.

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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amy baked 35 sugar cookies and ate 25, what does she have now? diabetes.

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Fred and DooDah go to their favorite lake to fish. After getting out on the water, DooDah hooks a huge fish, which pulls him overboard, and he drowns. Fred is brokenhearted and goes to tell DooDah's wife the news. She opens the door and hears Fred sing: "Guess who drowned in the lake today? DooDah! DooDah!"

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What can fly for only a short period? A jumper.

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How do you confuse and idiot? Purple.

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What is the greatest lie ever? "I have read and agree to the Terms of Service"

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What do you call a fish with no eyes? Blind.

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Q:what has four legs, is green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A:a pool table

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Q:how do confuse courtney A: give her a beer

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Wanna hear a joke..... Corey Jacobs Scrotum!

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Antijoke the book. Seriously it sucks ass, do not bother, they only included the very worst ones.

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BOOBALANBOO

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Why do Iraqi women never sleep with American soldiers? Because Americans always talk about pulling out but they never do!

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You know what is not cool? Fire.

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you and your family will die tonight

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A guy walks into a bar. Yep.. that's it.

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What did the bodybuilder do when someone stole his wallet? Ab workouts.

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Why did the little girl fall of the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? I don't know but it's not the little girl.

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Where does the Queen keep her armies? In various military bases across the country.

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Ahhh! Grandpa your going too hard!

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What's the difference between an orange and a dead baby? One is a popular citrus fruit commonly grown in Florida, and the other is a horrible tragedy, possibly caused by miscarriage or a serial killer, who was hopefully immediately jailed for his actions.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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