girls lacrosse

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Why did the bartender kick out the three jews at midnight? Because the bar closes at 11.

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why did the frog cross the road? because he was attached to the duck

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A black guy walks into a bar... he sits down and has a drink

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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A duck walked into a bar. He asked for a drink and the bartender gave him it

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Bariande: I have a belly button Kraken: haha who doesnt? MissAwkward: i dont Barinade: neither do i. haha this happened on tiny chat.

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what did the comedian tell the audience? a joke.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away privileges that she normally would have had had she not misbehaved.

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what do you call a screwdriver that thinks it'sa hammer? a screwdriver

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If you analyze this joke closely you' ll realize its not funny.

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Who's a looser and has no friends??? Max!!! His address is 2131 HighHills Narrow...

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How did the man with no arm and no legs get to the store? Well he certainly didn't walk.

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What clicks when its out of lead ? A gun Why was the little black boy crying ? He ran out of that grape drank How do you make a dead baby float ? You take your foot of its head How do you know when your life is over ? When you start watching Twilight What is blue and sticky ? Blue Stick What do you get when you mix a dog and a cat ? Shit

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Why can't Larry drive? Larry's a rock.

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Why did i drink 4 sodas? Because i was thirsty

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Q:Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree A: No

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Why didn't the black man feed his family? They'd eaten about an hour ago.

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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Ding dong... Knocking hurts.

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How did the girl get hit by a car? Better question, How did the car get in the kitchen?

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Nothing finding a worm in an apple is disgusting because worms are disgusting creature that shouldn't live in an apple

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What is a panda bear? A bear with black and white fur.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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