Phillip has 200 pieces of candy, Phillip eats 185 pieces of that candy, what does Phillip have left? Diabetes, Phillip has diabetes.

Roses are Red Violets are blue Goldfish

Why was the little boy sad? Cause his mum died of a terminal illness. Why was the little girl sad? Cause she was his sibling.

Why didn't the hungry woman get up and make herself some food? She has Lou Gehrig disease and any movement she makes results in excruciating pain.

what did the angry asian man do after chrashing his car? He died later in the hospital that night from a combination of severe head trauma, internal bleeding, and various fractures.

What did the pope do when he saw the grinch? He prayed for his soul.

what do you call a pig that knows karate? pork-chop!

Why did the pasta not taste good? Because your mom made it.

What is the favorite song of Lady Di? no, that is a dead person and must be respected.

what do you call a black man on the moon? Kid Cudi

What do you eat for breakfast and is sometimes blue? Pancakes.

WHO IS A CHIKEN???????????? I AM do you got a problem with that!!!!!!

What was the worst part about the Holocaust? -When it ended

Why couldn't the Irishman walk in a straight line? Because he was a retard.

what do you call a disabled black man getting beat up? an unfortunate human

9/11

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? It didn't. She was capable of loving and caring for a dog.

Q: Why was Tigger looking in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh

finding nemo didnt make sense how could a shark go on a no fish diet

Knock Knock Who's there? Frank Frank who? I killed your grandma

Knock Knock There was no answer as the house was empty.

knock knock! fu ck off i'm a shift worker trying to sleep

what is hollow and bloody? Vagina when it gets genital herpes

I used to be an adventurer like you... then I enlisted for much safer guard service with a more steady salary.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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