There are two types of people in this world: those who can count and those who can't. I happen to be one of those who can.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly 10 consecutive times in the head with a knife.

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Why could the woman not play the game monopoly? Because she did not own the game monopoly

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A man and a woman are alone, the man holds her down and says I'm going to rape you! The woman replies I'm not into that and leaves unharmed

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -To. - To Who? -To whom.

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what did the right wing jew say after he was arrested for murder? bt we went through the holocust

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what did the red towel and the blue towel say? Nothing because towels are inanimate objects and therefore can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Police Police who? You're under arrest, open up or we'll knock your door down

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*knock knock "there's a door bell"

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Whats the difference between an elephant and a tomato. You put tomatos in a salad.

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how do you get someone out of a chair? hit him with a shovel

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What do you call a black man in court? A lawyer.

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Q: What's fat and smelly? Q: What's worse than Nikki Manaj? Q: What's the bane of everyone and everything's existence? A: Kim Kardashian

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What do you call something that isn't funny? Serious

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What does a human have in common with a tree?? You can cut a humans leg of and count the....oh wait

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What did the dog say when the woman put a sweater on him? Nothing, dogs can't talk and he has no idea what is going on

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How do you spell Mississippi with out an i? You can't because removing an i from the word Mississippi would cause it to be spelled incorrectly.

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who likes it up the anus? jason frisone at saybrook ave 08094 williamstown new jersey thats who

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Women's Rights.

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Knock knock Who's there A drummer A drummer who I'm not knocking on your door

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Roses are red, Violets are black, Why is your chest, as flat as your back

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Lethal injection is a lot more humane than the electric chair. I know because nobody's complained about it yet.

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There are two gingerbread men in an oven and the one says " it's hot in here" the other says "holy crap it's a talking cookie!!!!!!!!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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