How to you kill two birds with one stone? You use a precision hunting rifle to mortally wound two flying birds, then put them on a platform and break their skulls with one rock. Separately.

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what did the blond do after she turned 18? Reelected Obama.

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jack and jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water jack collapsed because of serious drug abuse and stress jill followed after not being able to handle the tragedy of her brothers death this wouldn't have happened if they got into my van when i asked them too.

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What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

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God bless America, and no where else.

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Is this where I type the joke?

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why did Mark Nara cross the road idk why? he didnt

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This is not a joke.

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Why is it impossible to travel faster than the speed of light? Because it travels pretty darn fast.

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People say it's easy to make fun of retarded people. But it's really not. You always have to explain it to them.

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Why is MLA important? Because if Mothers didn't Love Anyone society would collapse and we would go into a nuclear war and blow up the earth, and the apocalypse would happen and dinosaurs would rule once again until another meteor hits the earth.

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boobies oh boobies i how i love u boobies the are so juicy with milk and hairy with in the tities

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If you give a homeless man a fish he eats for the night, if you teach him to fish then he probably won't be able to feed himself anyway, he is too poor to afford a pole.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at its face.

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Why did the American run over the black man. Because he didn't see him standing there.

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Why did the old man fall off a bicycle? He had a fridge thrown at him.

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knock knock, whos there? the repo man.

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An under aged man walks into a bar. the bar tender forgets to ask for his ID and gives him a beer. That man was later fired.

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waiter there's a fly in my alphabet soup that's not a fly that's a spelling bee

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Why did the kid start to cry? His parachute didn't open.

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Stephen Hawking raped your mom

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Why did the asian fall over? He had a heart attack.

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Why did the gum cross the road? It was stuck to the chickens foot.

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What did James say when he couldn't find his car? "My name's James".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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