my namew is jd

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For fitness! ...yeah... nobody laughed when Jonah Hill said it either... awkward

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Where do astronaut cows go? Nowhere. There's no such thing as an astronaut cow.

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how many babies does it take to paint a house? that is child labor, which is illegal in many countries.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Why is Steven so gay? Because hes actually Richard Simmons

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How do you drown a blond? Keep her head underwater until her lungs fill with water and her bodily functions stop working.

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what dog doesnt have teeth? A horse.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? he wanted to.

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Where do black people get there hair cut? At a hairdresser.

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What do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you....you pull the pin and trow it back

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How its supposed to go: Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mopwho? How my friend Cassidy did it: Knock knock Who's there? I eat my poo! Oh wait I screwed up.

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What's worse than dropping a dollar down the drain? Getting your nipple ripped off by a pair of pliers

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It is the conjoining of the two possible outcomes of the interstellar and post modern possibilities of the pasta pudding god's niece's favorite colour after she falls off her bike whilst riding down a yellow slide after her twenty-seventh birthday when the two suns form a triangle in the night sky over the delta. Yes indeed that was good pudding.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I beat my family.

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Q: What do you call a dog after the dentist? A: A dog.

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Why was little Johnny crying? He is regularly raped by his father.

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Why didn't the boy go to school? He was sick.

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THE GAME

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL

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Stop being a centipede

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What do you do with dead chemists? You carefully place their remnants in a casket, which is to be placed in a precisely dug hole. Once the casket is placed, you put a gravestone into the ground, signifying the chemists' date of birth and death.

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Out of all the sadness and death in the world...do you know what the worst part is? Mexicans are still hoping the border...

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The world's smartest man walks into a bar. And he orders the best most reasonably priced drink.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops