Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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why do humans have gall bladders? I honestly don't know

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A dog walks into a bar and asks for a pint.. But is immediately turned away as dogs are not allowed in pubs.

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A guy walks into a pub. He cant walk out because hes blind.

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Backwards write to fun is it. As long as its forward. Emu

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Why couldn't Michael ask out Mary? Because Mary had been dead for dead for 10 years.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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What happened when Satan met God ? Nothing, because neither Satan nor God exist.

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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What has five letters and sounds like "trucks?" Vroom

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How do you starve a black man? You don't feed him.

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Oliver O'Farkle walks into a blue room carrying a bag of oranges and Swanson J. Doople walks into the same room in a parallel universe carrying a ballpeen hammer. How much collective space do the two women occupy and will they be able to make the 4pm train to Terre Haute? No, because the train is running late so transportation efficiency on the day in question proves impossible.

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What does a black man, an Irishman, and a Jewish man all have in common? Male genitalia.

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What is a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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whats gay and can do flips? A gymnast

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What did the deaf, dumb, blind, parapalegic kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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Why did people spend $100 on Kanye West's plain white T- shirt? Because it was a good looking T-shirt.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had to arms. Knock knock Who's there? Well clearly not Sally

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69

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Why did Justin Beiber cross the road? He didn't because he is still in the closet!

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Mitch

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Jesus may have walked on water, but Stephen Hawking runs on batteries.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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