Whats big, purple and hairy. Has 4 eyes and 2 brains? Nothing.

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What do you call a gay Jew? I don't know, but Jews are cool.

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Why did Susy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? NOT SUSY!

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Then lets give this another shot, this time we stop questioning how to make others happy, and if that is what makes us happy, then we ask: What else.

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A bear walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender knows that bears can't talk and realizes he must be dreaming. He wakes up and rolls over to tell his wife about the dream. She hears the joke, but turns away from him and pretends to be asleep. Then the bartender begins to cry. His marriage is in shambles.

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How many aborigines does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They have no idea what electricity is.

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Why did the young man visit the optometrist? Because when he went to put in his contacts earlier that morning, he dropped one on the carpet and couldn't find it and it was his last pair so he needed to go order new ones but it had been over a year since he had been to the optometrist so they make you come get your eyes checked before you make a new order to decide whether the lens strength should remain the same or be increased/decreased.

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matt shut up

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Why was the sea green? because a whale took a piss

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Did you hear about the blond who went to college? She got her masters. became and environmental scientist, married a nice man, and had two wonderful children. After retiring at age 65, she spent the rest of her days living in a cozy beachside house.

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What is sad about four lawyers in a car driving of a cliff? The car fit six people.

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Whats 9+10? Well it's certainly not 21

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Q: Why did the man take a shower? A: because he was dirty.

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Your computer runs so slow that I had to run a virus scan.

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What's funny about an anti-joke? It's a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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Q: what happens when you eat all the potatoes A: there all gone

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how do you double your cash? You rip it in half.

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What was the dying boy's last wish? Not to die.

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What do you call a pakie flying a plane The pilot... or a terrorist it up to you

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If I said "This AntiJoke will get thumbs up" It will get thumbs up

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Q. Why did the boy drop his ice cream? A. Because he slipped on his moms three day old tampon.

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What would be a good feature for this site? A search by keyword feature. (sorry...)

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Probably cheese, since there really isn't a possesive form of the noun.

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What is more scary than an AK47,blood,and 99999 naughty children? Nothing problaly :p

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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