How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face? No slap her bum!

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Person 1: You know whats funny? Person 2: No! What? Person 1: A joke!

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Why did the girl get hit by the bus. Because she was Helen Keller

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And the winner of Miss America 2050 is... Britney Spears!

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Bob and his family were looking forward to going to an all inclusive holiday to Spain. When they got on the plane, a bomb went off, causing Bob to realise that he was never going to see his family again, and that they were about to suffer a horrific, painful death.

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"bluar blah blah blarRR/ the stupid pointless part" dead people/ animals/ objects can't talk/ drive/ operate compueter, lol I'm so focken funni

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I asked the librarian for a book on suicide. She said "I'm sorry we don't have those in stock." So I just hung myself.

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Knock knock Get off my porch.

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i went through your mum like a plane on 9,11

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Why did the black man break a woman's ribs? Cardiovascular resuscitation is an emergency procedure often used outside of hospitals to revive unconscious individuals before medical professionals are able to intervene. Sometimes having your life saved comes at a cost.

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Four blonds are driving to Disneyworld. They finally get to Florida and they see a sign that says "Disneyworld: left" so they turned around and went home

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what did the black person say to the midget my dicks bigger than u

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They say the human body is comprised of 70% water, it's more like... 60% because I'm dehydrated if know what I'm saying... I should really drink some water.

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Why'd the second squirrel fall out of the tree? Because it was tied to the first one.

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Why haven't the Miami "Big Three" won a championship together? They don't play as a team. They rely on three people to score all their points when there are at least two other people on the court at all times. They jinxed themselves because they thought they were going to win every title until their contracts were up.

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What's good about freedom of speech? Only the idea. Try saying something about Muhammed or calling a cop a power-mad taxman.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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How do you make a doctor cry? Kill his family.

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Why are these jokes so funny? Because they're NOT!

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z which one does not belong answer: none

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rose are red violets should be purple

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man was playing with his little toddler. the man put his thumb through his fingers and said "got your nose" the baby laughed. the cops then burst down his door and arrested him for robbery of personal items. they werent laughing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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