Haikus are useful Actually they are not.... ....I am so sorry

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How many Jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Waseem is not a funny guy!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to your house. Nock Nock. Whose there? The chicken.

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what do you get when you have unprotected sex with a hooker? an orgasm

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What happens to the man with cancer He dies Because the pharmaceutical company wanted to profit off a synthetic drug equal to marijuana

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Why wasn't Fred invited to he party? Because he's been dead for five years

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Silly Sally Dillydallied then lost her job to outsourcing.

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Why did the cat eat the cupcake? Cause he was hungry.

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Your everything I've ever dreamed of you sing like a bird your gorgeous your funny your friendly your sensitive your caring your unique and one day I will kill you.

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How do you get a clown off a swing? You hit him with an axe How can you release your anger at somebody? Kill them How do you stop a bus? Throw small children at it

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your father died

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Nickelback ranked number 1 as greatest rock band according to rolling stones magazine!

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What did the fish say? Moo

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how did hitler fit 100 Jews in his car??? he couldn't, his car only fits 5 people.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts. What's invisible and smells like rabbit farts? Carrots, if you're blind.

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What has legs but may never walk? A Vietam Vet

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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What did the beaver say to the other beaver? Nothing because beavers are wild, indigenous species thus incapable of speech.

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You have 5 $1 dollar bills. Your mom rapes you and you still have 1 $5 dollar bill.

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Why is the sky blue? Because it is.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your watch? I don't know, I don't have a watch anymore.

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How did the mermaid break her arm? She fell out of a tree.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops