What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So a Quadriplegic walks into a bar.....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are hookers and babies so alike? You can have sex with both.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

George Michael walks into a bathrom.....

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Sally fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Whose there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile "robin, get in the batmobile"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't the blonde dial 911? Because the burglars tied her up and gagged her before they robbed the house and she couldn't do anything until one of the neighbors found her and untied her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Did you hear about the blonde that went to college? She got a degree.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were two oranges in a bowl. One orange said to the other "Hello my orange friend". The other orange screamed because he did not know oranges could talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A blond and a redhead are walking down the street the red head says look a dead bird the blond looks up

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hashtag

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Wieners? A: Nothing. your last name is a male sex organ

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Nothing it is a sentient object and doesn't have the capability to talk

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Stephen Walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is funnier then 25 9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did Hanna fall of the swing She had no arms or legs Knock knock Whose there Not Hanna Haha

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the cricket say to the bear when it entered it's den? Nothing,crickets comunicate by rubbing their back legs together to create vibrations and sound,and it cannot be understood by any other animal besides crickets.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did Roadrunner name his car? Turbo Tax.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Follow the Yellow brick road, follow the yellow brick road........except it's not yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did God say to the snake when the Snake decided to ignore God and just give Eve the apples? Snake what are you doing? Answer me, SNAKE! SNAAAAAAAAAAAAAKE! *DUN DUN DURUDUN! DU DU DUN! *gunshot* Moral: I just hate thumbs ups, and the comments where I omit this receives those horrible green thumbs instead of them sexy red ones, so there goes.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

DOWN

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What is the difference between an Irishman and a plank of wood? Almost everything, including anatomy, chemical make up, mass etc

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the Muslim say to the Sikh? "Hello. Lovely weather today."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops