whats worse then the worst thing that happened in your life? nothing.

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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XD I must like, really be into you, God I cannot breathe XD, that is like the most disgusting thing I have heard in my life, but coming from you that just comes out so quaint! XD

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why was the woman making a sandwich in the kitchen? because at the age of 3 she faced the hard reality of being nothing more in life then serving her husband to the day she die

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patty was in sunday school, the teacher asked her "patty who created the universe?" john sliped into the seat next to her and jabbed her with a pen "LORD ALMIGHTY" the teacher said' good patty now who gave himself for us? john again jabbed her with a pin "JESUS CHRIST" "that very good patty now what did mary say to joseph after they had their 23 child?" john jabbed her " IF YOU STICK THAT DAMN THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME ILL BREAK IT IN HALF!!!" the teacher fainted

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Wanted: A tall, well built woman with good reputation, who can cook Frog's legs, who appreciates a good Fuc- shia garden, classical music and tal- king with out getting too serious. Now read only lines 1,3, and 5

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whats red and spikey? an apple i lied about the spikes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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How do you catch a unique rabbit? You could probably find many of them in the vicinity of Chernobyl. The radiation has probably created thousands of mutations. They are probably not as fast as regular rabbits.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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A man orders 3,687 bricks. He gets 3,688 bricks delivered to him. He throws the extra brick in the air. Ok, so a man is smoking a cigar by a woman with a small poodle. They are both in a plane. The woman asks the man if he could get rid of the cigar because the smoke is making her dog turn green. The man refuses. In anger, she throws the cigar out of the window. The man gets angry and throws the poodle out the window. What lands in the poodles mouth when it's falling? The brick.

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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How do you tell if a politician is lying? You make him take a polygraph test.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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how do you take a shit in public? pull down your pants and push in public

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Why did the little boy drop his Ice cream? He had no arms(:

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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Q: Why couldn't the hippopotamus get his driver's license? A: He didn't turn 16 yet.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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What happened when your mom closed the blinds? You.

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Boy: whats for dinner Kidnapper: beans and weiners

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Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

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How do you make a little girl cry twice? You finish on her teddy bear.

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HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I LOVE ADVENTURE TIME I HATE MAD I 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Knock knock? Who is there? Nobody. Those were noises coming from your head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops