I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Child birth. So easy women can do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did Jimmy fail his math test? Because he had a mental disability

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Bill in jail? He stabbed 17 black people because they didn't deserve welfare checks.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: Whats the difference between a Chicken and Your Mom? A: I dont eat the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +15

-Knock knock -Go away -*Breaks door and shoots*

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter what you call it because it isn't coming.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Oprah is black and the richest women in the world!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: What do you get when you cross Marvel and Capcom? A: Marvel vs. Capcom.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man is kidnapped shortly after being diagnosed with a new type of cancer in his left hand and is also left handed. When he is dropped off after being kidnapped it turns out a doctor hired the kidnappers to bring him a patient. The doctor notices the tumor is still in a stage where it hasn't spread to the rest of his body. The docter then claims to have a way to remove his cancer with minimal damage to the rest of him. So the doctor pulls out a laser sword and cuts off the man's left hand and says,"There, no more vancer for you!"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was the asian kid found dead? he failed an examen

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why can't Kevin run with scissors? Because he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do call someone who kills their own children? Casey Anthony

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

"One fish, two fish, red fish, the holocost." -Dr. Seuss

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A baby seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is Joel so gay and skinny? He was raised by goats with eating disorders.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's funnier than somebody spitting in someone else's food? It's not even funny, it's just plain rude and disgusting.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops