What's 9+10=? 19

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What does Santa get for Christmas? A shitload of work to do.

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What is worse than hell?

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Roses are red, Violets at blue. My mind is twisted, Bend over bitch your about to get fisted.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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Roses are red Violets are blue What was I saying? Oh yeah, your adopted.

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Women are definitely a full time job.. You should be paid to have them......

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If she's old enough for jail, than shes old enough to rail.

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Why does Michael Jackson have difficulty playing chess? Because he's dead, and if there is an afterlife, we don't actually have the ability to know that it is possible to play chess there.

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A man sees his friend and asks jokingly, "Hey is that ketchup or blood on your face?" The friend replies, "No, I ate your family," and shoots the man in the head with a rifle.

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what does adolf hitler and jewish people have in common? they *** and **** but **** will always **** that hard but **** is ****** up rather ******, and they don't eat bacon

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Q: What's the deal with air line food? A: An airline meal or in-flight meal is a meal served to passengers on board a commercial airliner. These meals are prepared by airline catering services. The first kitchens preparing meals in-flight were established by United Airlines in 1936. These meals vary widely in quality and quantity across different airline companies and classes of travel. They range from a simple beverage in short-haul economy class to a seven-course gourmet meal in long-haul first class.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm really drunk so show me your boobss.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The road was Catholic, and it couldn't cross itself.

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Roses are angry Violets are too My head is scratchy I need shampoo

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme This one doesn't

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Video Games

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Why did the 15 year old girl not enjoy her taco? Because the man making her taco was kid napped and replaced with a female that forgot to put cheese on it.

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Yo mama's so ugly that the majority of people find her physically unattractive, but I hear her personality if great.

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Whats very large and produces alot of seamen. The US navy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it all starts back in 1765. Sir clucks the 3rd, was the finest most brave chicken there was. No other chickens could even compare. Well you see Sir clucks, with all of his riches and wealth, was one of the most popular chickens of his time. Everyone knew of his vast fortunes. Unfortunately for sir clucks his fortune caused him great misfortunes. You see the dastardly Honey badger brothers heard of the Great Sir clucks and thought to themselves "Why does sir clucks get all the fame and fortune." With that being said the Three brothers came up with one of the most evil plans. They found sir clucks, walking through an alleyway in SHITBUTT city. They surrounded Sir clucks and beat him to the brink of death. They then threw a bag over his head and threw him in their windowless rape van. They then sped off in the night, taking sir clucks to their hideout out in the Dastardly Dry Desert. Not many days passed before the citizens of SHITBUTT city realized that their Most beloved Sir clucks had gone missing. Day,weeks months passed by, but to no avail. Finally, in the 4th month of sir clucks absence, the honey badger brothers sent mayor Monkeyman a ransom note explaining how they want 1 million in clean bills. Little did they know Sir clucks had been coming up with a plan of his own, as the days passed. Nightfall came and Sir clucks set his plan in motion. He had been working on getting his bindings loose and tonight was the night he would escape. "I don't feel so well" says sir clucks to one of the honey badger brothers that was on guard that night. "ehhh what seems to be the problem?" he opens sirclucks cage, not knowing he is a 7th level Black belt. BAM SMACK BONG and with that sir clucks moved quicker than a jack rabbit and ran out into the chill desert night. After hours of running and his feet bloody to the bone he came to a road. You know what happened next? He crossed that SHIT and lived happily ever after And that my amigos is the Factual true story of Sir clucks the 3rd.

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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