What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and left leg? hes all right now

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What did the Englishman say to the Irishman? "I am from England"

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What happened when the girl did the splits? She lacerated her vagina.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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why did the girl fall of the swing because she was pushed of by obama

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What did the little boy with cancer get for Christmas? Death

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A woman is home washing her dishes when she suddenly slips banging her head on a cabinet. She passed out for a few seconds, then woke to find a great gash on her left cheek, fairly spurting blood. At the emergency room, the doctor asks, "How did this happen?" The woman replied, "My boy friend tried to drown me."

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What did the dog say to the dildo? Your rubber

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Doctor- Mr. Smith I have some bad news for you. Mr. Smith- Just tell it to me straight. How long have I got? Doctor- Not long. Mr. Smith- OK.

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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"Up to 50% off."

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how do you kill an African baby ? put it in the microwave for roughly 45 minutes

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What do you call a pregnant 8-year old? A poor reflection on our society

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

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A Jew and a Muslim are sitting in a bar. The Muslim asks the Jew for some money to buy a drink. The Jew said, "how much?" The Muslim said, "$7.00" The Jew then said, "yes."

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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A zombie walks into a bar. It was shot by an M16 automatic rifle. The video game had zombies.

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What's worse than an empty bottle of Yoohoo? Literally nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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