Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was he arrested? He broke the law.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the carpenter do on his exam? Poorly so his parents killed him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why are gays soo happy , becuase the dont have to listen to women

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Yo momma is so fat that you should really take her to the hospital, i've become very concerned for her.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than that? Dying. What's worse than dying? Finding three worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there?" A: Knock knock knock B: "Who's there!?" A: Knock knock knock B: "God dammit who's there!?" A: "Penny?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Black Man walks into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where did Lucy go after being hit by a train? Well, the results of this question are somewhat difficult to pinpoint, but here is a generalized ratio model. 47% of Lucy went underneath the trains wheels and was left behind, crushed into the railway sleepers. 33% was thrown aside and discarded around the SIDES of the track. 19% was carried on the front of the train, into the next station where it fell off as soon as the train stopped. 1% was found in Mount Everest.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the blonde fall off of the swing? Because someone threw a machete and it made contact with her skull, thus causing a painful break and rapid blood loss, making it virtually impossible to remain sitting upright.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you stop a pedophile from following you? Throw a fridge at him

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you say to Michael and Justin? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Left. That one direction...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why was the man with cancer bald? He wanted to tan his scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a guy with a huge dick ? hugedickasorus

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was 6 afriad of 7? Because 7 is a rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down

Woman: If you were my husband, I've give you poisoned wine. Winston Churchill: Madame, if you were my wife, I would hope we could have enough love to attempt marriage counseling so as to work out these issues.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

penis

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did Squidqard say to Spongebob? Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Chuck Norris.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops