Roses are red, violets are blue something stinks and I think it's you!

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If a tree falls in the woods does it make a sound? No, the impact of the colliding objects being the tree and the ground causes a disturbance in the silence thus causing a sound. The tree gets too much credit.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because I threw a fridge at her.

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Why did the blond crave hotdogs for breakfast? She was likely suffering a sodium deficiency from violently throwing up the night before.

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Yo mamma's so black, and that's ok. We're all different and unique.

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What does a lonely man do on opposite day? Lick his dog's penis.

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I'm not here.

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A man walks into a bar. He is an alcoholic and it's ruining his life.

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What Do You Call A Man On Land With No Arms And Legs? Useless

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Lol, thats sweet, you making me nervous in a good way now. No, the thing is that I need to use this crap every morning, yeah, but its late here now, and since I was born with this condition, remembering is far easier than forgetting, and while the bleeding has stopped now, I was never in any pain whatsoever, and the bleeding would have stopped eventually because of you know... Coagulation? But, if I lets say spend a week without my meds, things would look pretty ugly. I get the meds for cheap, by my new doctor since the old one was a bitch... Excuse me, can we take five minutes? I know I said I would return last time and did not, but I will, I am just a bit... Well, I need a bit more blood in my body right now, I am fine, no danger... If I where I would not be chatting here, but getting my ass of to the doc.

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A man dies and goes to heaven. This is an assumption based on religious faith.

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Mel Gibson is awoken by the ringing of his telephone he proceeds to have a nice conversation with his wife.

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How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question! Feminists can't change anything.

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What do you call a dead cat on the side of the road? Kitty litter

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Q:How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Two

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Q: What's black and can crash into you A: a black guy in a car

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Why does an elephant lay on it's back with its feet in the air? To trip birds.

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A:what happens when you throw a black guy down from a sky-scraper Q:he dies

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered sex offender.

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Why didn't the boy respond to the text? His phone had run out of charge.

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Oh hot damn, this is my jam. Strawberry, to be specific.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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There was a girl who dumped her diver boyfriend because she couldn’t get him to give her a pearl out of an oyster. This particularly female has rather high expectations for her significant others.

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What's the best anti joke? this one

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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