What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

What did the bus driver say to the black man? I like your shoes.

Waiter! What's this fly doing in my soup? He's not doing anything, sir. He's dead.

What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at six o' clock in the morning? He puked a lot, and was diagnosed with a horrible digestive disorder.

Whats better than the holocaust. Darfur

can't wait until the baby boomers die

roses are cows violets are oranges im mental are you too

2 peanuts were walking down the street, one was a salted .. the other was raped

How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

Q: What's the best way to get a woman to stalk talking? A: Ask them nicely.

women playing football?

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

minecraft

what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

Whats worse than being gay? Nothing.

what did helen keller name her dog? scruffy

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

Why did the old man step on the caterpillar? For fun.

Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it ain't gonna.

Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses? Because they often have to interact with violent and distrustful criminals.

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? I cried when I cut up the onion.

One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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