Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's funnier than Man on Woman domestic abuse? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many girls does it take to sell out a Justin Beiber concert? None, all of them are boys.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Help! I'm locked in a anti-joke factory!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If olive oil is made of olives, calculate the mass of the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the boy sad? He had a frog stapled to his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Damn kids and their evasive tactics.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the jewish girl happy? Her pussy was wet!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call cheese that's not yours? Someone else's cheese.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops