What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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Norm Macdonald's roast of Bob Saget.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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a dyslexic Satan worshiper sold his soul to Santa

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How many teenagers does it take to change a light? 1. Unless he has some sort of disablity then probably 2.

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What's naughty and rhymes with CORN? Naughty corn.

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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Hey

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What is the difference between Charlie Sheen and Michael Jackson? One is dead, one is not.

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what did one mexican say to the other Hi.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a convicted rapist.

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What do you call a guy who acts straight but is really not? Verl.

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What is big, red, and eats rocks? A big red rock-eater

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What's wrong with your hand!!!!!???? nothing.

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A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

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Whats worse than ants in your pants? Uncles.

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A black guy and a white guy are arguing over what race god is. So they go to god and ask what race he is. He says, "I am what I am." The white guy says, "yes." The black guy says, "why did you say yes?" If he was black he would have said, "I is what I is.":):):):):):):):)<3

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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When life gives you: High Fructose Corn Syrup,Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid,Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Phosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Fumarate, Yellow 5, Tocopherol, and less than 2% natural flavours... Make lemonade.

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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A man was walking on the sidewalk until he saw a bird. He said, "Is that a bird?", and it was a bird.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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