What's room temperature and tastes like ice cream? Melted ice cream

Whats black and has wheels a black man i lied about the wheels

Q; Why was the man loosing his hair? A; Because since he was at an older age, he was going bald.

Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

A mother and her kid are in a park: Kid: Why did the chicken go to jail? Mother: Because the chicken killed your father... Now we are broke living in a park and I'm gonna kill myself at noon, and so are you. Kid: I'm not doing that, and neither are you and Daddies over their! The dad is a zombie, this is the beginning of the zombie apocalypses. THE END!!! PUPPIES!!!!!!!!!

Why do white people wear black shirts? Why do black people wear white shirts?

What wears a white robe and shines? A special boar.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her...

Where does Frosty the Snowman keep his money? He doesn't keep it. His lifespan is too short to make significant compound intrest.

What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a soda. The bartender says, "We don't serve soda." The guy then says, "oh", and walks out.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit

Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because she is dead.

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

What did the woman do when her husband told her to make him a sandwich? She made him a sandwich promptly.

What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

Why was the man so unhappy. he died

whats pale and white your ass.

what do rappers cover? ->CANDY CREDITS: ANUJ NARAYAN VARMA from Leland high school

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

why did the man scream? he stubbed his toe on a door

Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

Wanna hear a joke? Women's rights.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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