The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

Two jews walk into a bar. They laugh over a beer and leave

Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

Knock Knock Who's there? It's the mailman delivering your weekly delivery

What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

Why couldn't Timmy ride a bicycle? Because Timmy was a goldfish

GAY PEOPLE

Which one is hardest?

in the begining... god made some stuff

What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

Q: what's black, white and red all over A: a penguin in a blender

Lightening never strikes the same place twice. But it killed both my parents.

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

Why did the dog run away from home? His house burned down and his owners were killed.

What's the difference between an old quarter and a new penny? 24 cents

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

Billy isn't a homosexual, he just has sex with men. Billy has sex with men, because Billy's in prison.

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

What did the mute guy say to the deaf guy? *awkward silence* What did the deaf guy say to the mute guy? *Awkward silence....huh?*

What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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