Q: what would george washington be doing if he were alive right now? A: screaming in his grave

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Q: What's the similarity between puzzles and women? A: Prior to the 1920's neither had the right to vote.

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They gave here a timeout, like any other sensible parent would.

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A guy is taking a pee in the ocean and a fish swims up and drinks the pee. The fish says "thanks for the lemonade."

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I'm Jewish

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was an animal of minimal intelligence and didn't know of the underlining risks involved in crossing a high speed passage for cars and other road baring vehicles, the presence of the chicken in the road also prompted further danger for the drivers involved in the situation. This resulted ultimately in not only the death of the chicken in hand, but also caused two cars, one with a male driver aged 35 and the other with a female driver aged 42 and her two children, to collide. This cost hundreds of pounds in damage for the male driver, who escaped with minor injuries, and the death of one of the woman's children. The whole event was an unnecessary disaster.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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what happend to the ghost? he dissapeared! :)

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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what happens when you mix a black guy and a Mexican? nothing, it is physically impossible to "mix" people.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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Women"s Rights

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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An English couple walk int a Portuguese bar. They never see their daughter again.

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A man is walking down the street when he stumbles upon a school, every school in the area had an American flag outside it, so he sees the flag and atop this flag a man is sitting and he doesn’t look comfortable. Next to the flag pole is a chair with a flag attached to it and the wind is as strong low down. So he looks at the man and says "Sir I think you may be using those wrong." The man on the flagpole says "why?" So he says well this chair is flat and made for sitting and this flag pole has a draw string for the flag. The man atop the flag pole says "I'm sure good will come of this…..im sure." the man says "What good could possibly come of this!" and the man on top of the flag pole looks at him and says "Later……………..you can tell this story to your friends and disappoint them when they find out theirs no punchline."

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gesss what happen u promis not to tell anyone ok this is what happen !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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