A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

What did the great political leader say in order to calm the riot. There were no definable words. He merely screamed as the riot swallowed him and tore him apart.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

American Idol

i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

What do you call 400 black men rolling down a hill? 400 black men rolling down a hill.

Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

Your Momma is so ugly, she got plastic surgery.

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

NEVER

Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

What do you put on top of salad? Salad Dressing.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

ollie is a fag so are you

What a russian says to another russian? I don't know, but it must be somthing in russian.

How are cherries and kittens different? They're both fun to cut up.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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