While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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who is lanky? Theo Kingdom

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Your mom is so fat, she has diabetes.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Why didn't the man kiss his wife. Because he had no lips.

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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whats the best way to burn calories? Set a fat kid on fire.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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Whats worse than scraping your elbow and knee? Beheading and disembowlment.

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whos a tramp and stinks? David Bell

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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You better run like your ass is under fire, because it will be if you don't.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because its ears were nailed to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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