What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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your mom is so fat she died of brain cancer

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How did Jonny die We don't know he was never found

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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why did the first monkey fall out the tree? he was dead why did the second monkey fall out the tree? he was hit by the first one why did the third monkey fall out the tree? peer pressure why did the fourth monkey fall out the tree? he thought it was a game

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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if quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? testicle

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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Religion

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What did the girl with no arms get for Christmas? Mittens

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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tim rafter died no one cared

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There are four worms moving in a straight line, one in front of the other. The first worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me!" The second worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" The third worm says, "Hey, there's a worm walking behind me, too!" How can this be? ...the fourth worm lied.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Terrance was going to clean his room but then he got high, do you know why? because terrance is addicted to illicit street drugs and should seek medical help.

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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