An Asian person drove home safely.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's winnie the pooh's middle name? the

thumb_up thumb_down -38

What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

thumb_up thumb_down -86

The horse's name was Friday

thumb_up thumb_down +97

Why was the alpaca sad He just got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Who cares

thumb_up thumb_down -1

if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A horse walks into a bar. The impact fractures his skull immediately, knocking him unconscious. He then dies from the resulting brain damage.

thumb_up thumb_down -71

You cannot invite, hire people for money and expect loyalty Red, you need to make them earn the right to work for you, merits, background checks, consistency, friend, I can help you with a lot of my own experience, what saddens me about you being the leader, is that you have a good heart. And you are naive, a dangerous combination, if anyone such as Jonas shows up again, your life may be in danger, I mean you know who I am talking about.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What would happen if you threw 50 plates off of your roof? Nothing. No one in their right mind would do that. Besides, who owns 50 plates?

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than the holocaust? Peoples' bad attempts at Anti-Jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

Hey, you know what'd be funny? A guy having a seizure saying, "Help I'm having a seizure!"

thumb_up thumb_down -128

why did the little boy cry? some gang killed his family infront of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa Claus? Tiger Woods is a real guy. Sorry kids.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A zookeeper, a shoemaker, and a guy named Billy Jones walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we closed". So they left.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

why did the 70 year old white barber refuse to cut the black man's hair... It's because the old man's wife died just two weeks prior to this appointment and he is not in the current mental state to be wielding a pair of sharp sicors near another man's neck. This has happened many times between him and his customers in the past week, and his client base is lessening because of this.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

thumb_up thumb_down +66

roses are red violets are blue chickens are white and yellow trees are green and brown my yellow shirt is purple oh shit my dog died

thumb_up thumb_down +42

is it big enough to have sex in????

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did Cam newton win the heisman? Wait Cam Newton won the heisman?

thumb_up thumb_down +85

What did Christopher Colombus say to his men before they boarded the boat to sail around the world? Get on the boat.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why are fire engines red? well books are red magazines are red 2 two plus two is four four times three is 12 there are 12 inches in a ruler queen elizabeth was a ruler, queen elizabeth was also a ship, ships sail in the sea fish swim in the sea, fish have fins, fins fought the russians, russians are always red, fire engines are always russian. and THAT is why fire engines are red....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Dad: "When I was your age, I had to walk outside to catch the school bus. If it snowed heavily the night before, school was canceled."

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops