Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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nine...eleven

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Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

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What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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Grapefruit.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Superman: Batman, can you drive? Batman: No, but I can drive the batmobile.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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A family of black people get onto a plane. The son said to his father: "Why do planes have wings?" The father then replied by saying: "To help them fly son." The plane's wing then fell off due to a building error, then the plane crashed and everyone on board was killed.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Knock Knock! Come in.

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Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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how do you get a cat out of a tree? -call the fire department

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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