derp

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

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What did the homeless child get for Christmas? Jumped.

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High school gym class.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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Haiku's can be fun But they don't always make sense Refrigerator

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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Hi

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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Guy walks into a bar and half his head is an orange. Barman: What can i get.. holy shit half your head is an orange!! How did that happen?? Guy: Magic Lamp, rubbed it, three wishes etc etc. Barman: What in the bejesus were your three wishes, half your head is an orange. Guy: First Wish – I wished for every woman in the world to love me. Barman: Right, that is ok. What was your second wish? Guy: Second Wish – I wished that I was a billionaire. Barman: What in the hell was your third wish half your head is a frickin orange? Guy: It was a silly wish. I dot wanna say: Barman: Go on tell me, I’ll give you a drink. Guy: OK well for my third wish I wished that half my head was an orange.

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What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

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dj miky

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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