What does a Jew do when he sees a masked man at his door? He grabs a phone to alert the police and hides in his bedroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you keep black people out of your back yard? Just like you would anyone else: buy a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

PENIS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

whats funny and has four wheels? A handicapped 11 year old boy getting raped by his father

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

thumb_up thumb_down

When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happens if you're in the middle of counting towels? You finish counting your towels.

thumb_up thumb_down

The outside of my house is painted yellow.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the immigrants.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? The jew is a human being while the pizza is a combination of things such as sauce, bread, cheese and many other toppings made available to the buyer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Your hat is not on you head. Where is it On you head

thumb_up thumb_down -8

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

Why did the chicken cross the road? He wanted to see his mother before she passed away of terminal cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the boy fall off his bike? He saw and ice cream truck across the street and rode towards it as fast as he could, sadly it was rush hour and he was hit by a speeding ambulance because he forgot to look both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

Two rabbits are being chased by dogs and hide in a log in the forest. The male pushes the female to the dogs which are at both sides of the log and gets off Scott free.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Water, please.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What's funnier than 24? 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

alcoholism kills

thumb_up thumb_down -42

if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down -80

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops