Why'd jimmy drop his candy wrapper? He was brutally melested and stabbed I the eyeballs with forks and cut into pieces before he could make it to the trash can. He was then thrown into the trash can he was going to.

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I know you are but what am I? A queer.

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What's the difference between a kleenex and a man? One absorbs your tears while the other makes you cry.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm from the Department of Child Services, i'm here to take your children.

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how did the girl fall off the swing. BECAUSE SHE HAD NO ARMS HAHAHAH

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I'm Halarious.

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Why didnt the deer move out of the street when the guy yelled at it? Because deer are a very sensitive species you should try asking politely next time.

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Why did the man fall off the cliff? I don't know, I have mental AIDS.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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An Israeli, a Palestinian and an American walk into a bar. The Israeli shoots the Palestinian and says it was self defence. The American agrees with him.

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What is black, white and hungry? A woman with a rare skin disorder known as Vitiligo which causes discolourtion of the skins pigment in patches; who is hungry.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" Not the best move Anne Frank ever made.

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What's the worst thing to find in an empty box? Nothing,It's empty

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? I don't keep a Ferrari in my garage. (????)?

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how did the little girl get to heaven? she died.

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Why did the black guy get fired from his job. I asked first.

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Three men walk into a bar because they were all blind.

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A knock knock B who's there A your newborn give me your money or I will hang all your kids

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Being raped by a Triceratops. What's worse than being raped by a Triceratops? Being gang raped by a herd of Triceratops.

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Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

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why did the ginger have no friends? he was wearing skechers

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say it aloud and fast: •im sofa king stew ped •ice bank mice elf •alpha Q •mike hunt •mike ock

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You would too if your name was mmfmffemuuuuuffuummuuuuuluuu.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops