yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

Feet

When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

What goes in long and hard and comes out soft and sticky? Chewing Gum

What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

whats better than sex? cookies

What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

What did the anti-joke say to the joke? Your fly is down.

Penis.

How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

Why was Jimmy afraid of coming out of the closet? He had agoraphobia.

want to no whats funny what your mom

What does a cat sound like when it's being raped by a human? MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWW!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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