A dog goes into a bar. He is wearing an eye patch. The dog says to the bartender, "Have you heard the one about the one-eyed dog?" The bartender, who is deaf in one ear, thinks the dog is making fun of him. He asks him to leave. The dog says, "Don't you have a sense of humor, deafie?" At the end of his shift, the bartender is tired of all the jokes. Today it's a one-eyed dog. Yesterday it was a horse with rickets. The day before: ants. He lives above the bar, in a small room. He spends the night alone there, listing to his battery operated radio, which picks up only a bad jazz station. He listens to bad jazz with his bad ear.

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Theres 3 guys walking and the see a genie. He says hell grant 3 wishes. The first guy asked for sandals. The genie said"I can do that" and he got sandals. The second guy asked for rock hard abs.The genie said,"sure thing".When he looked down, he saw that he had rock hard abs. The third guy asked for a pair of pants."ok" Said the genie. And then he got a pair of pants.

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Why couldn't Jimmy ride a bike Because Jimmy was a fish

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How many militant feminist does it take to change a lightbulb? 2, one to change the bulb and another to suck my dick.

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Knock Knock Dude i am not going to answer the door

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A guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "what can I get you?" The man replies "what do you recommend?" The bartender says "get a beer." The man says "okay."

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I would write a joke, but it wouldn't be funny

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What did my mom say when she walked in my room? You smell like body oder.

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Q: why is the squirrel stuck in the tree? A: because he should have finished high school.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, the holocaust was a tragic event in human history.

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Q., Why did you mum eat mum on ur mom go die mom niga nigga cut me hang me lolololo A.my cat died shut up newb lololololo

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What's grosser than gross? Grossest.

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A baby seal walks into a club. I happens to be that the club is having their bi-annual PETA meeting, and the baby seal is chosen as the organization's new mascot. After touring the nation and meeting important world leaders, the baby seal still wonders why there was a club at the North Pole.

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Why did ned fall out of the tree? Because he was hit by a koala.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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If an iPad 2 is better than an iPad 1, than what's better than an iPad 2? An iPad 3

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Robert dupras dick size :3

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why was 6 afraid of 7? cause 789! no, not anymore, didn't you hear? 6 and 9 got together last night and 8 eachother.

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How do you divide 3426 by 78.6? With a calculator

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Why was sally crying? she was sad

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A man dropped his pen so he picked it up. He is satisfied that he is a sufficient worker.

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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I used to be a Businessman like you, then I took a plane to the North Tower.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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