What did the man say to the butterfly? To the butterfly? Nothing. He was probably talking to himself.

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How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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96

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Lasers are red, Tasers are blue, and I will use them, to kill you!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

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A Muslim walks into a bar He immediatley turns around and leaves as his religious beliefs forbid consumption of alcoholic beverages.

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Your momma's so not fat that when a school bus rolled by here house, she just sat there and turned on oprah.

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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What do you call a bug stepped on 47 times, then burned to a crisp? Dead

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Why did little Annie fall off the swing? Cause her penis was too heavy.

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Where did Suzy go after the explosion? - Everywhere.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Whats worst than finding a worm in your apple? Going to antijoke.com instead of anti-joke.com

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September 11 was the 9/11 of all terrorist attacks.

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roses are red, violets are blue, open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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Whats Brown and Sticky A) a stick

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your in court a woman police officer says anything you say can and will be held against you. the man replies titty

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Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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