Stacey has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Stacey.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Person 1: I need an adult.... Person 2: I am an adult. Person 1: I need another adult... Person 2: My friend's an adult too. Person 1: I need a third adult Person 2: GOD UR NEEDY!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's black, white and red all over? A race war

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a black man? Rob

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The song Barbra Streisand has more than 2 words.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Your uncle jack just helped you off a horse. Now it's your turn to help your uncle jack off a horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I met her back in the 80s when she was a man.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says: "Man it's hot in here!" The other muffin looks over and says "Holy cow a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman cross the road? Better yet, why is she out of the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +8

12 in general

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

there were two cyclists cycling down a main road in china at exactly the same time and exactly the same pace, one being chinese and the other irish. why did the irish man get stopped and the chinese man not? because the irish man had in fact raped and murdered a young child in his native home town and then fled the country to china.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Jehovas Witnesses: Summer vacation edition reality show: BItch: Do you know Jesus? Guy: Goddammit you A*Beep*SSHOLES again! I keep telling you all this is m0thertrucking Spain, I know like 500 Jesus`s living in this town alone! *slams door* Moral: Everybody knows at least something about the goddamn Jesus! Ill try asking "Is he the guy that lives downstairs?" Next time and see what happens.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the boy fall off his skateboard before running into a cross-section? Because he was shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: How do you make an onion cry? A: You can't, it's an onion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Anne Frank say to the German Officer? Nothing. She had to keep quiet in a cramp attic in order to survive.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a man with a spade stuck in his head? An ambulance, he may be in need of urgent medical assistance

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says nothing because it is a horse and doesn't understand English. It gets confused about it's surroundings and gallops out of the bar, upending a few tables along the way.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop the London riots? - You employ a a highly effective police tactic to diffuse the crisis as quickly as possible.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why were there four married men in one room without their pants on? A: because it was the mens bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is small, red all over and gets shorter by the second? A baby cutting its hair with a potato peeler

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops