Why did the baby cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

Who looks like Justin bieber, and is really cool? Justin Bieber, but I lied about him being cool.

Guy walks into a bar. He orders a drink called "Vampire poison". The bartender gives him the drink. The man drinks it and dies. No he was not a vampire, he was just a man with a history of heart failures.

What do you call a pig that does karate? By its name. Pigs are often referred to by something regarding the 'Oink' sound that they make. Perhaps in this instance, the pigs name was Oinky. However, this is only a supposition. The range of names is really too wide to make a fair prediction.

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

Why did Tim fall out of the window? Well... he didn't exactly fall... I pushed him

Yo mama so short she often has to ask you to retrieve items from the top shelf of her cabinet.

A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

What do the Irish do on their birthdays? Eat birthday cake and sing happy birthday

What's the difference between a tree and a lamp? One is a tree, one is a lamp.

I still remember the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket. He said: "Hey, I wonder how far I can kick this bucket."

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

Why was the baby crying? He had just witnessed his parent gets brutally murdered.

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

Knock Knock. Please stop peddling your religion on my doorstep. .

How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face.

What was the black woman doing in the kitchen? She was simply washing her hands after eating dinner.

What did the average man say the the bird? HOODINI

Your mama is so fat, we are all severely concerned for her health

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

Q: What do you call an Ethiopian on a food strike? A: An Ethiopian

Why do giraffes have long necks? To connect their bodies to their heads.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...