Whats alive and drowning? your new born baby you just threw in the river

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What did the man say to his doctor?

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What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

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Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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Yeah, "master hypnotists" (and do not even get me started on hypnotherapists, they completely suck!) keep claiming that you need to keep up to date with the "constantly developing art of hypnosis" The thing is though, that hypnosis does not develop itself, people develop it further, and when the key ingredient is actually believing things under a certain state, you can do anything, even slow the passage of time to a halt. Once I tried that, I was disappointed when I figured out that it did not work, so I went shopping (for groceries), then realized that no time had passed at all, sounds like bullshit, and yeah I wont be trying that again anytime soon, lucid dreaming is good enough, you can spend hours and hours in a lucid dream state, days, and then wake up and figure out you slept like two hours or something.

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Lukas: can i have a cigarette? Scott: i dont know can you? lukas: may i? Scott: NO

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24

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Roses are red Violets are blue Columbine was funny

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why was there a fish in a fish tank ? because if it wasnt it would die

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What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was tired of this joke.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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What's worse than getting shot? Getting shot twice

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yo momma so ugly that yo your birth certifiicate is an apology from thew condem factory

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A kid goes into the ocean on a boogyboard and then gets eaten by a shark because the shark thought he was a seal.

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A man walks into a bar. Since he was only moving at a slow walking pace, he was fine, no further events worth noting occured.

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: my red painted d*ck

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Watch he thinks he can out wit me watch adams next joke it will suck sooooo bad

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Yolo Pierre because of Etzio tickle shits faggatron and individual nut join forces to become the shit suckers

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Your mother is so fat, she is at great risk for developing diabetes mellitus type 2.

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so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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